Anxiety

Monday and Tuesday will be difficult days. The anxiety leading up to Scans is unexplainable to the uninitiated. The fear of what white spots will show up on a CT Scan will be worse than those felt by many. I know that fear. I remember August 05 after Paigee and I returned from Hawaii and the time leading up to her Scans. Those Scans ultimately led to the knowledge that the Tumor in her Brain was in fact growing and had broken the Blood Brain barrier, it was now in the Brain.

Charlie, Lisa and Dee Dee are on pins and needles. They can only be funtioning in a primitive state of fear waiting for the tests and the day leading up to the meeting with Dr. Marina and the reading of those Scans. You may remember that Dr. Marina was Paigee's Doctor too. Dr. Marina is a well loved woman. I often wonder how I can love someone so much even knowing she was at best only able to give us 32 months and that Cancer would take Paigee from us.

Madison is in our thoughts and prayers during this time. Our greatest hope is that she continue to remain Cancer free til November when she will be eligible for a Kidney transplant. My next greatest hope will be her continued health throughout her life.